AKRON, OH — In a theological debate that has plagued the Church for centuries, local Baptist Joe Singleton is struggling to accept the literal interpretation of Jesus’ words, “This is My body, this is My blood,” uttered during the Last Supper. Despite his strong faith and dedication to Scripture, Joe simply cannot wrap his mind around the concept that Jesus might actually mean what He says.
“I’ve always taken the Bible literally,” Joe explained during a recent Bible study group at First Baptist Church. “When it says Jonah was swallowed by a big fish, I believe it. When it says God created the world in six literal, twenty-four hour days, I believe it. But this whole ‘true presence’ thing? I’m not so sure about that.”
The confusion began when Joe’s pastor, Bill Turner, gave a sermon on the Lord’s Supper emphasizing the symbolic nature of the bread and wine. “It’s a powerful symbol of Jesus’ sacrifice,” Pastor Turner preached. “The bread represents His body, and the wine represents His blood. Simple as that.”
But Joe, ever the biblical literalist, found himself in a theological conundrum. “I get that it’s supposed to be symbolic,” Joe said, scratching his beard. “But Jesus didn’t say, ‘This represents My body.’ He said, ‘This is My body.’ I’m not a theologian, but that sounds pretty straightforward to me.”
Despite Pastor Turner’s reassurances, Joe’s literalist instincts refused to be quieted. “If Jesus meant ‘is,’ why wouldn’t He say ‘is’? It’s not like He didn’t know the word for ‘represents.’ This is the guy who said, ‘I am the bread of life.’ He knows how to use metaphors when He wants to!”
Joe’s predicament has sparked a lively debate within the church community, seeming to be a repeat of history. Some members, like Helen Jenkins, empathize with Joe’s struggle. “It is a bit confusing, isn’t it?” Helen mused. “I mean, why didn’t Jesus just say it was symbolic if that’s what He meant? I’m having a hard time believing Jesus would’ve left the matter intentionally ambiguous. And it would have saved Joe a lot of sleepless nights!”
Others, like Deacon Robert Miller, are more pragmatic, “Look, we Baptists have been doing it this way for a long time,” he said. “We don’t need to start taking everything Jesus said literally. Next thing you know, we’ll have people gouging out their eyes and cutting off their hands!”
In a bid to find clarity, Joe has taken to studying the writings of early Church Fathers, hoping to find some insight. “Turns out, they all took Jesus at His word,” Joe reported, somewhat bewildered. “I mean, Augustine, Ignatius, Justin Martyr—they all seemed to think Jesus was being pretty literal. It’s like a theological rabbit hole!”
The situation reached a comedic peak during a recent communion service his church practices every 1-3 months, when Joe, holding the communion wafer, hesitated and asked Pastor Turner, “Are we sure this isn’t actually His body?”
Pastor Turner, barely suppressing a smile, replied, “Joe, it’s a symbol. Just eat the cracker.”
As Joe continues his quest for theological clarity, he remains a beloved figure within the church, his earnest questions providing both humor and a surprising depth of discussion. “If nothing else,” Pastor Turner noted with a chuckle, “Joe’s given us all something to think about. And isn’t that what faith is supposed to do?”
For now, Joe is committed to his literal reading of Scripture, much to the amusement and occasional exasperation of his fellow parishioners.
The Lutheran Column 